tantalizing sultry      



Thursday, July 31, 2008

in a blink of an eye
my hols have come to an end. :((
the end of july's here,
and the beginning of the month of august will commence as of tomorrow.
i dread school.
what ive learnt is that ive never been able to
love AND be proud of any school ive been to/am at.
maybe sn only.
but i occasionally feel otherwise.
boohoo.

so far everything has been a letdown.
and stressful.
yesterday just simply triggered it all urghh.

im gonna have my dinnerr


--
i cant wait to watch camp rock:] haha
its coming in sept if im not wrong.
joe's hotttt!
and demi lovato's gorgeous~

<33















5:16:00 PM


Friday, July 25, 2008

feeling loserish for having
aches on my sides from lousy music.
it was my way of trying to perk things up since
the daynight was horrible- we were all in a bad mood
and i was completely sober throughout
making feel i wasted my moolah
as well as precious sleep.
my body cant take much more of 6hours of sleep daily.
im zombified now.
surviving on adrendaline
but stressed over the bidding thing after
much enlightment from ree yesterday.
not to mention went back to yj to collect my cert today
looked for one of my favvs-bernardsyn
whom i spent 2+hrs yakking away with
till i became more tired(so did he)
i got so carried away i forgot that fel&i didnt have lunch
so we had um,lunch at 5+
and had dinner shortly after at byewtee&the beast

and here i am.

anyway i lub bs la he's so cutefunny pls.:]
goodtimes,goodtimes:]

1:44:00 AM


Saturday, July 19, 2008

life took a left turn

gosh i feel like closing my blog.
its effing dead.

and im the only moron whos still using blogger rather than lj
i tried like once or twice
surprise or no surprise,
i couldnt figure how to use it right.

need like help,
from whoever...

so miss whoever,
feel free to lend a helping hand..
ive been meaning to ask
but yeah,
just meaning to only..

ANYHOW recap of this weeks happenings:
good and bad.
i had fun but at the same time shits happening
or maybe its not shit but i think its shit.
i cant seem to keep my life in balance-
one comes in, out goes another;
which, has apparently been always the case
just that now its evident yet once again..
i went clubbing for the first time in TWO years
im amazed myself
uhm I (and perhaps only me) enjoyed myself
point is, i did and im happy i did..
but at the same time im also not..
im starting to think too much again over stupid things
and feeling so stupid over thinking too much over stupid things..
i feel strangled suffocated
and doing certain things against my will
yet do it to avoid any tension unhappiness yadayada.
i feel a slight flashback from yesteryearS
once again, good and bad...
i keep wondering why my life or heart or whatever is so..
uhm small?
cant find the right word but too lazy to search my brain for it..
had my qet yesterday (um embarrassing but whatever seriously)
and i really hope i pass it..
cause i can never be too sure..
i loved last nights chat
one ive seriously not had in YEARS.
feeling good about it.
again, i hate how i cant keep my life in balance.
poor selfcontrol selfdiscipline selfeverything seriously..
so the end result is forgoing somethings whenever
which is stupid but my way of trying to control.
i just feel a need to ramble on
cause i feel..
strange
ive been feeling very sickeningly strange for this whole week..
i hate yet love this current life..
my heart keeps randomly thumping for i dont know what reason like now
i feel horrible for sleeping an average of only six pathetic hours this whole week
when i aim to reach a minimum of 8 like a baby
though i know my friends sleep like much more
and am disturbed by my current lack of sleep cause ive not much rolling around time anymore.
the whole sleeping at 4++ am this week is making me look more shagged
at the same time still having to /waking up at 7,9,10,11 am.
i feel horrible about feeling horrible
feeling stupid for ranting on and on
but after my mouth went dry from 298739256 hours on the phone last night
i kinda just wanna type it out instead..

i think everything happens for a reason
and i keep sensing certain hints signs
of which im not sure whether is it paranoia instead.
everything now has been nothing but badbad timing in general
that its distrubing to the max.
and im pulling my hair out over it
cause i love to exaggerate.

2:12:00 PM


Tuesday, July 08, 2008

im back!

it was, by far,
the most tiring holiday.

nonetheless,
well enjoyed.

many pictures were taken,
but very few were of us-
in terms of proportion.

hmmm.

i am:

broke beyond imagination
several kg heavier
and therefore
rounder
bigger everyGoddamnwhere
cellulitish
flabby
with a watermelon tummy
i am
shaggified
daa panda
eyebagged
more muscular
basically :[ :( :/ :l :C :X :S

pictorial evidences in some photos
and not proud of it.

ANYWAY
i wanna roll away my next few days

and shall attempt to loose
all that i gained
before august.

2:24:00 PM


Wednesday, July 02, 2008

i officially declare this week sucky.

disturbia is what my mind's currently suffering from.


don't want to think about it
feels like i'm going insane

it's a thief in the night
to come and grab you
it can creep up inside you
and consume you
a disease of the mind
it can control you
it's too close for comfort

-

:[
im simply searching for things to do to distract myself.

furthermore noting the series of :[s this week thus far,
i fear for my upcoming trip's outcome.
:[[

pathetically the only thing that put a :] on my face was
quitting of my job.
F and myself happily put that up where it was visible to everyone.
even though it was not deliberate,
im sure EVERYONE saw it BUT pretended not to for some strange reason.
i think prolly everyone there hates us for our socalled arrogance
and is more than happy that we're gone.


just so you know,
ditto here.



it was this ONE girl that made life there intolerable.
its times like these God should have created us in such a way we could
close our ears.
ive not met ANYONE who owns a voice as irritating as hers
and speaks,laughs,snorts,chews,eats,yadayada as disgusting as she does.
whats the worst part?
SHE HAS A HUGE TENDANCY TO KEEP YAKING AWAY.
which pains my ears each time i hit the office.

not to be mean but,
im seriously not at all exaggerating.
it was painful for me and F alright.
it was pure, torture.

so yes, GLAD its all over for good.
only part of this quitting thing thats making me :[ is that
my bank will never increase again;
will only deplete
AND will NEVER hit that lowwwww target i wanted to see
JUST once in my bank.
knn :[

-

how we killed time, time and time again
in a place you wouldnt believe

its hilarious i tell you...
amazing how the place that sells the most basic&essential things
can keep us well entertained
-

anyway this was long ago due BUT
did you know.........................................?



now you do!
so do what you have to do!

11:51:00 PM